I've learnt today that when one party keeps giving and the other party keeps receiving, dissatisfaction and discontent will sooner or later arise, no matter how loving they are...
The reason I say so is because there is no equilibrium in this giving and taking...And to have a healthy relationship, both parties need to give and take in equally... So, don't just take nor just give blindly...
I used to think that receiving from my other half is okay because that's a show of love and care. However, I realized today that it is not the case. When problems arise or when arguments take place, it will become one of the topic to be discussed. And guess who will have the upper hand? Of course the giving party. Why? I bet you know the answer. The giving party will just blame that the receiving party that "you are SELFISH!". And that's it. You have nothing to say if you are on the receiving end.
Therefore, I learnt that it is better to be clear and equal especially when monetary issue takes place. Whether it is everyday's spending when we go out together or receiving gifts from you other half, be sure to be equal so that no one is to be blame when comes to the topic of who gives more and who being more selfish than the other. A very good example is as below:
A: Don't talk about others. Look at yourself. You can't even take care of yourself. <--- personal attack out of no where, or perhaps out of frustration...
B: Who say so?! I will earn more money from now on so that I can buy (so so so and so.....) <--- dream big
A: (Sigh) I think I need to save up too. So stop using your "never bring wallet" excuse everyday. <--- accuse B for being selfish (+ stingy, sort of)...
B: .... (speechless)
(the discussion goes on and on revolving around issues of selfishness and human's nature...and end with the following line)
A: Don't know how your mind is thinking...... I think you will act very selfish too when you have no choice..... <--- again accusing others
B: .... (speechless again) <--- never thought that the person next to him will spill out those harsh words onto his face directly...
A walks away leaving B speechless by his own...
I'll choose be more alert from now on when comes to this issue of give and take. As human by nature is selfish to some extent, some will act selfishly in their everyday life while some other will just spilled out words that reflects their selfishness (if they don't act it out). In short, as I mentioned in the previous post, be independent and don't rely on anyone of anything :)
Self sufficient, please!
(slap myself for realizing all this only at this moment!)
-j
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